you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
