His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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