# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
