My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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