I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
