Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Randomize
