listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
How external is "for external use only"?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
