i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
