I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
