no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
