My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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