My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
