So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
