addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
