theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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