if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
