I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
