yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
look no pants
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
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