Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
