The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Are my feet made of real feet?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
