did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
