i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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