I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
two words...techno handjob
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
