In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
