Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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