If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
