when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
It's never too late to be topless.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
