Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
