so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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