after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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