the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
