It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
