Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
