she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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