I hate your face
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I think people are normalizing furries
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
that is very illegal...i love you.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
