I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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