Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
