If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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