I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
