Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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