just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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