Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
