We should be called the Road Head Warriors
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
