I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize