My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
