Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize
