Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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