another moral hangover. fuck.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
