i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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