I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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